i can smell it in my tea. the cool mornings. the brisk air flooding my nostrils. i'm sitting by myself again somewhere in america. anywhere. i watch the sun rise over the sea. thru the trees. from my car. inside this tent. i cannot miss a day. i wouldn't want to. though my feet are numb from being sationery in the cold weather, i don't mind it. it is all worth the warmth the tea brings as it descends from my mouth and down my throat. one of my favorite feelings and for some reason i want to cry. hard. heavy. warm. tai tea.

this is the second nostalgic moment i have had since i stopped moving.

the first was a week ago when i went to charleston for a friends wedding. sitting in the taxicab on my way into town i was bombarded with images of the roadside. so much of what i have seen for the past year was moving by my driver's side window at various speeds. even when that piece of glass separated me from everything else, i have never felt so close to the world.

i could hear her heart. her pulse. her cry. not that we were friends, but i appreciated all she took time to show me.